Message Delivered at Christ Church

Sunday, July 13, 1997

Fourth in a Five Part

Series, "Five Questions People Ask"

"How do I know when I'm following God's will?"

A while back a friend of mine told me the good news that he had been offered a new job. It was good news because this person had pretty much gone as far as he could go where he was at the time. This person had mastered their job, acquiring an excellent reputation in their field, even a nation-wide reputation. This person had garnered several honors, so that it made sense for this person to consider any new job offers that might come along. And the job this person had been offered was a good one. It gave the kind of authority needed to accomplish the tasks that would be part of this new work. Gave the person a substantial increase in pay. And the company that was offering the position was doing everything it could to make it attractive, bonuses and so on.

The drawback is that the job would have meant moving, moving to another part of the country, a part of the country where this person had never lived, and didn't have any family. And this person was married and had kids, older kids. So it meant not just him moving, but his whole family moving. Now, the kids were old enough that they were into things around here....school, and soccer, and dance lessons, and so on. And this persons' spouse was involved in a lot of things too, with a strong network of relationships.....friends and family. There were benefits, obviously, to this new position, and everybody saw them. New opportunity, higher pay, the adventure of living someplace new. And, just as obviously, there were benefits to staying put. Remaining with the familiar, in a place where they were loved and had a strong network of relationships. And after all, this person's reputation in his field was strong enough that some other kind of offer, maybe even from a local firm, would come along sometime or another, and no one was pushing him out of the job he currently held.

But a decision had to be made, and the question that this friend kept coming back to was this: What is God's will for me here? What is the godly decision to make here? Which of these paths that is laid before me is God's path?

This is the fourth in a five-part teaching series we're doing this summer called "Five Questions People Ask." We started the series three weeks ago considering the question of the basic belief of the Christian faith, the thing one had to believe if one were to call one's self a Christian. And what I offered is that the basic, the defining, belief of the Christian faith is that our God is a giving God, a God of grace and gift. Two weeks ago we considered the question of how good one has to be if one claims to be a Christian. And in response to that question, I suggested that the call to us isn't so much that of exceptional goodness, but exceptional humanity. More than calling us to be good, God calls us to be human, and from being truly human, the goodness will follow. Last week's question was for me a real toughie: "If God is so good, why do bad things happen?" And I responded by saying that bad things don't happen because God makes them happen, they happen for a whole lot of other reasons, and I also maintained that it is more likely we will become more human and more Christ-like through suffering and pain that we will through the "good times."

And today's question is the one my friend asked, and in many ways it is the most practical question we'll consider during these five weeks. I heard it from him, but I've heard it from lots of other people over the years: "How do I know when I'm doing God's will?" Sometimes the question is asked exactly like that. Sometimes it's asked differently: "What does God want for my life?" "What is God's path for my life?" "Is this decision I've made a godly decision?" "What is God's intent, what is God's plan, for me, and is this action I am contemplating in accordance with this plan and intent?"

My friend asked the question in relation to a job possibility. But we ask it in other situations, as well. Do we have another child? Do we move to a new home? Do I marry this person? Do I go back to school? Do I make a career change, which is something more than just a job change? Do I give something--whatever--away, even though it may cost me? Do I blow the whistle, or remain silent? Do I stay in this relationship, or do I end it?

All of us have faced questions like this from time to time. And while like people outside the Christian faith we can draw up our list of pros and cons, or create our decision trees, or do a cost-benefit analysis, we include a factor here that others don't. It's the factor of God's will, God's intent, God's desire for us.

So what I want to offer today are some signs that may indicate that when we are making a decision, we are making a godly decision. Some signs that may indicate that we are traveling God's path. And But before getting into them, I want to mention just a few things.

There is in the New Testament a Greek word "akoloutheo." It means "to follow," and it appears in the gospels seventy-eight times. Of those seventy-eight times, it refers to following Jesus seventy-four of them. That's a lot. Now, the four gospels are all similar, yet distinct, renderings of the story of Jesus. Each of them were written for different communities that had different needs, and sometimes the gospels emphasize different elements of the ministry and story of Jesus. So that the fascinating thing about the use of this word meaning "to follow" is that its use is almost evenly distributed throughout the four gospels. It's used almost equally in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. And what this means is that it was a clear understanding of the early church, the first witnesses to Jesus as Savior and Lord, that the call of Jesus was a call to follow. They are unanimous in their proclamation of Jesus' call to follow. What are we to be doing as believers? Well, in all that we do, we are to follow Jesus. We are not without a path, we are not without a direction. The pathfinder, the trailblazer, is Jesus, and the call to us is to follow. Not some of the time, not most of the time, but all of the time. In all situations and circumstances. This song that we just sang, "I want to walk as a child of the light, I want to follow Jesus....." doesn't express a new-fangled idea, but articulates the ancient call to every believer, every disciple, that we are called first and foremost to follow. And that means there is a way for us to go.

Secondly, it is important for us to accept that our God is a god of details. Jesus says that the Father knows the number of hairs son our heads, and Jesus says ask and ye shall receive. Psalm 139 says that God has known us intimately from the beginning, from before our birth. There is nothing that is too small for God, there is nothing of no concern for God. We can't face an issue that is irrelevant to God, so that we're never in a situation where we can rightly say "Well, God doesn't care." That doesn't mean that God always thinks things are important the same way we think they're important. But it does mean that God has some concern over every issue, every challenge, every decision, we face.

And finally, it is worth remembering that our God is not a cookie-cutter god. God knows us individually. We aren't "humanity" to God, we are human beings. We aren't the same, we're different and unique. And that means that God's will for us does not look the same for every single person. For one person facing the decision my friend faced, it may mean taking the new job. For another, following God's will may mean staying where one is. While there are some behaviors that are always outside the boundaries of God's will, God's will is tailor made for each one of us so that what is right and good for one may not be what God intends for another. Similar situations may mean very different things for different people.

So imagine facing a decision to be made, and wanting to know God's will, the path that is God's path for us. What are some signs that we are in line with God's will for our lives?

First, let's start with some obvious things, but still things worth saying. There are some things that are clearly not in line with God's will for us or our lives. There are some things scripture lays out as being clearly out of bounds. Scripture doesn't give direct teaching on everything, but gives direct teaching on some things. So that coercion, deceit, murder, theft, manipulation, dehumanization, harm to others or self, are the kinds of actions that are clearly out of bounds. They aren't part of God's will. If an action involves using force or the threat of force, physical or emotional force, I am not following God's will for my life. If I am deceiving another or myself, if I take another life or do harm to another life, if I use deceit to acquire what is not mine, I am outside the boundaries of God's will. If a course of action causes me to treat another human being as a thing to be manipulated, robs them of their personhood, then I am not following God's will. But if a course of action is the way of peace and giving, rather than coercion; if it is the way of honesty and truthfulness and forthrightness, rather than deceit; if it is life-giving, rather than death-dealing; if it strengthens the person of another, rather than manipulating the other as a thing, then it is more likely to be according to God's plan than not.

Secondly, God gave each of us certain gifts and talents. God made each of us in such a way that we do certain things really well. God made some of us to be very creative so that we like creating things. We may have a hard time drawing within the lines because we're always thinking about something new. God gave some of us a love of order. We love to put things in their proper places, since everything does have a proper place. God made some of us leaders, some of us servants, some of us doers, some of us thinkers. God gave some of us nurturing hearts so that we are most fulfilled when we are caring for another. And we could go on and on with us, because there are so many different kinds of gifts and talents, as many as there are human beings.

And most of the time, God deals to our strengths, not our weaknesses. God gave us gifts and talents, made us good at certain kinds of things, not so that we would sit on these gifts and talents, but so that we would use them. God doesn't say to the deer, "fly," and to the bird, "run." The deer was made to run, the bird was made to fly. The nurturer was made to be in positions to nurture, the administrator to administer, the creative person to create, the thinker to think, the doer to do, and so on. So that maybe a first sign that we are in sync with God's will is that we are in a position to use the gifts God has given us. If God has made me a certain way and given me certain gifts and talents, then it is God's will for me that I be in a position to use them.

Related to this is God's will for us is that we bear fruit. And a godly decision, God's path for us, is always one that is a fruit-bearing path. Now, what does it mean to bear fruit? I think it means this: that we get beyond being me-centered, or self-centered--whether out of selfishness or fear--to the point where we can directed towards the welfare of others. A shriveled up human being, like a shriveled up plant, can't bear fruit. God's will for us is that we blossom and bloom into all that we are intended to be, that we flower, that we are upright enough to live with outstretched arms. Maybe another way to put it is this: when faced with a decision, when wondering about God's path for us, the path that leads to the fullest and richest life, the path that will help us to be truly alive, is the one that God intends for us. So when faced with a decision, we ask which of the possibilities will bear the greatest fruit. And again, I think this question is related to the first one, for we are always more likely to bear fruit when we are in our area of giftedness than when we operate outside our area of giftedness.Also, a godly decision is followed by contentment and peace, if not joy. God has a way of working on us when we're not in sync with what God intends for us. Sometimes it's as obvious as not being able to sleep at night. Sometimes its as obvious as a flight into drugs or alcohol or some other mind-numbing substance or behavior. Sometimes being out of sync with God's will is manifested in daydreaming, an inability to concentrate, an addiction to the words "what if," or "if only." Spiritual unrest. Chronic blaming, or anger, or depression, or bitterness or procrastination. Hardness of Heart. If we find that we are living in the past, or living in the future, and are never aware of the present, then there's a good chance that we are not in line with God's will for our lives. If we are continually at sixes and sevens, then we may not be at the place or doing the things that God intends for us. All these things can be signs that we are out of sync with God's intent for us.

When we are in sync with God, though, what is manifested is peacefulness, a clear conscience, joy, contentment. There are always challenges, and there is always disease, but those things are balanced, overwhelmed, even, by the contentment that God gives when we are in accordance with God's will. In line with God, we sleep easy, we are able to focus, we are in a balance. That doesn't mean, for example, that we never get angry, or depressed, or feel stress. It's just that the anger or depression or stress come over things we should appropriately feel angry, depressed, or stressed over, and the feelings don't linger. And it doesn't mean that things are always rosy. After all, Samson followed God's will when he stood between the pillars of the temple dedicated to Baal, and Daniel followed God's will right into the Lion's Den, and Paul followed God's will through shipwrecks and beatings and other hardships. In each case they were afraid, but in each case God had given them the peace that passeth all understanding as a testimony to the truth that it was God's will they were following.

Another question to ask when we are considering whether a decision is in line with God's will is the impact the decision will have on our relationships. Now, our God is a god of relationships. God's very being, the Trinity, is a declaration of God's choosing to exist in relationship between Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. And God values the relationships that we are in. So if a possible behavior, or a course of action, would tear at the relationships we are in, rather than build them up, then it may not be God's will.

My friend, when he was asking me about this possible move, in my presence did some wondering out loud about what God's will was for him in his situation. So I asked him where his wife stood on the possibility of taking this new position. And I wasn't listening for "she's all for it," or "she's open to the idea." I was listening, instead, for "she's dead set against it." For if her response was that she was totally against it, it implied the possibility of a damaging strain on the relationship. And God doesn't want our relationships destroyed, God wants our relationships enhanced. So if my following a particular course of action is going to fracture relationships, do damage to the relationships I am in, even end a relationship, it's not necessarily a sign to stop, but it is a sign to be careful. The possibility of a broken relationship raises the stakes so that I need to make sure that I am listening to God very closely, and I need to proceed cautiously. Because while sometimes it may be God's will for a relationship to be ended, there is very little rejoicing in heaven when that happens.

So if we're faced with a decision, and it isn't going to result in coercion or deceit, and it deals to our gifts and talents and promises to bear fruit. If we are at peace with the decision, and have considered how it will effect our relationships. What then?

Well, I'll tell you, the next thing we do is test the call against the Christian community. We seek affirmation of the decision from other members of the Church. Now that doesn't mean that we stand before the whole body and say, "Well, I'm thinking of changing careers. Let's take a vote." Not that. It means, instead, that we seek out brothers and sisters whom we trust, with whom we have a loving and honest relationship, and seek their affirmation. "I think God is calling me this way, and here's why. Do you see this call as clearly as I do?" And some might say yes, and some might say no. But we're not looking for a batting average....."Two out of three people agree with me that I am called to such and such." It's just that if we're all alone on something, with no support or encouragement or affirmation from anyone, then it may be our own voice rather than God's voice that we're following. If no one affirms what we are hearing, then it may be us talking to ourselves. "I think I'm called to be an overseas missionary," someone believes. "I think I'm called to be a nun." Well, if in talking honestly and straightforwardly with trusted and loving friends this person hears no affirmation of their call, then that's probably a pretty good sign that it's not God's path that they're following. It may be that this person hears only one human affirmation, and if it is from the right person, one human affirmation may be enough to confirm the truth that it is God's will. But if there is nothing. If no one else sees it the way we see it, then again, we proceed only cautiously. It' wroth remembering that even Jesus wasn't all alone on the cross. Some still believed. Paul wasn't all alone on his journeys. Moses, David, Daniel, none of them were left completely bereft of affirmation from the faithful so as a way test to a call, we seek out the mind of trusted brothers and sisters.

Finally, and most importantly, when asking the question "How can I know God's will for my life?" we consider this: Will whatever it is I believe God is calling me to bring me into line with the character of Jesus as revealed in the gospels. We are not Jesus, but again, Jesus shows us what God is like and what God intends humanity to be, so that Jesus paints a picture for us of the truly human life. Will the possibility in front of me help me to live for others rather than myself? Will it strengthen a spirit of generosity, and give me a servant's heart. Will it help me to seek the Kingdom of God first, or will it distract me from the Kingdom of God? Will it help me to show mercy and love justice? Will it help me to be more forgiving, more compassionate? Will it help me to be a receiver of grace, and a giver of grace? Is it the way of suffering, or is it the way of vengeance? And obviously, to have some sense of this, we need to have spent some time with scripture, especially the gospels. We need to have spent some time getting to know Jesus, some time being loved by Jesus, with a heart to follow Jesus. And what this will mean is that we won't always take the job just because it offers more money, or end a relationship because we don't think it can work, or always take the path of least resistance, or ever be deluded into thinking that God's path for our lives is not without some challenge, some suffering, some grief, some pain. It is a fallacy to believe that God's path is the easiest path for us to take. It is the most peaceful, the most fruit-bearing, but not necessarily the easiest. Just ask Francis, and Julian, and Theresa, and Margaret, and Patrick, and the rest of the saints for whom God's path was a path of trial.

Now, I thought, and think, it was God's will for my friend that he take this job and move. But I'll tell you that things didn't work out the way they had planned. The move was more difficult for the family than expected, and the job didn't pan out as expected. The company changed leadership and direction soon after he arrived, and the work environment deteriorated. But while things didn't work out the way they expected, they still worked out. Over time, the new place became a home and there was less and less talk about moving back. A new and different job became available, one with just as much promise and challenge. A church was found that provided some fellowship and stability. They both found Bible studies that helped them make friends. So while the specifics hadn't panned out as planned, the decision to go was still a blessing; and while it was God's will that they be on their way, God's path for them looked very different from what they had expected. And even if they had moved back that would not have made the decision an ungodly one, for it may have been that they had to make this move to get closer to where God wanted them to be.

So I've laid out some signs by which we might discern whether a course of action, a decision, is in line with God's will.

Is it within God's basic boundaries of acceptable behavior as laid out in scripture?

Does it deal to our strengths?

Does it hold the promise of bearing fruit?

Does it bring peace, and contentment, and joy?

What kind of impact does it have on our relationships?

Has it been tested by trusted members of the Christian community?

Does it bring us into line with the character of Jesus as revealed in the gospels?

Are these perfect guidelines? No. There's probably more that could be said, and each of these signs could be more developed. Do they predict the future? No. God is always able to surprise us, and isn't limited to conforming to our expectations. This isn't a formula. But if we're seeking God's will, they may be a start, so that if we begin with them, we may be on the road to the road that God has laid out for us, we may be traveling down the path of discipleship that God intends for us, for us alone, the path that leads to the fulfillment of God's will for our lives, the path of blessing that we might be a blessing to others.